Pain

Quit Thumbsucking

Courage is the Answer

One reason I love the full distance triathlon is because of what it teaches me not just about racing and events, but about myself. Many of the lessons learned on or around the race course have applications to life.

In my last race, I hurt more than I ever have before, and some of the races I have done before were very uncomfortable. I was able to slug my way through 2 races that had the highest DNF’s to that  time, being St. George and Lake Tahoe 140.6. My experience last time reminded me of what I already knew with a different twist.

So,  here is the situation. I planned out the training for the “event of the year” for me. Everything went great. I was feeling great, I was swimming, biking and running as well as or better than the past few years. I was very confident I would make it onto the podium, as I had been used to in this year’s racing events. I was very sure of myself. Good thing I kept my mouth shut about what my expectations were!

So, I got out of the water and saw my time. The usual time. Huh. So much for that hard work paying off. I rode my bike and finished very close to my expectations. I got on the run and took off flying (for me) until about 2 miles into the run when my legs completely spasmed and cramped worse and different than prior cramping experiences. Simultaneously my heart rate skyrocketed resulting in dizziness, nausea, tunnel vision and weaving around just trying to ambulate. I was in fear of a heart condition that could have had very bad consequences. So much for my high hopes.

Within a few hours I went from being at the top of my game to being road kill. That was not part of the plan. That was not the way things were supposed to be. Disappointment and embarrassment prevailed.

There was certainly physical pain and lots of that. My emotions were also in pain as I got a nasty case of mad, sad, shout pout disease. Mentally I was in turmoil trying to figure out what to do next to save the day, but my efforts were failing. Total discouragement was the outcome.

And I paid money for this? Why would I continue to put myself into situations where I take such a beating? Why not just slip into the recliner? I could just quit. Then the physical pain would be over quickly.

Then I saw a sign that said several words, but one that caught my attention was “Courage”.

Some might think courage is a presence of confidence, and an absence of fear. What courage really is is facing your fears, challenges, failures and rising to the challenge regardless of the emotion of fear. It is doing the best you can do with the hand you have been dealt.

Courage is what it took to keep pressing on to finish the course. It was telling my inner self to shut up. It was giving myself what it needed. It was pasting a smile on my face and passing out high fives to kids even though I did not want to do that. The good news is I squeaked out cool looking smiles when they took the pictures. (Faker!)

I finished and saw someone from my town that was really excited for me while I was in a state of dejection, self-pity and wanted to hide. He did not understand because to him I did awesome. My reply was, “Tomorrow this may be fun. But for now, this really hurts.” I made the decision to not talk about my experience of negativity, but to enjoy the moment. Others were having a great time. Why would I not? Because of numbers on a clock?

So, what does this mean?

We all suffer in life in one form or another. Some people suffer chronic pain, relationship disasters, or are sentenced to a life of poverty or abuse. It may look great on the outside, but not so on the inside. Life's difficulty turns are handed to us. We often don’t get to choose them.

One trip to the nursing home (where my Mom is) and my thumbsucking went away. Visits to the nursing home teach each day is a gift. The really tough peoples owies do not go away, and most are really happy just to be alive one more day.

If your not or have not suffered, rejoice in that! Life’s pendulum swings. There are good and bad moments but over all the pendulum ends up in the middle, usually at the last breath.

We can choose to live with these difficulties either gracefully or with anger and bitterness.

If part of your life sucks, don’t dwell on that letting it spill over to other areas of your life that are going great!

Eating peanuts in the shell is not that much fun compared to eating doughnuts. They don’t taste that good and rip up your throat on the way down. But, inside the peanut there is a lot of protein that gives us what we need not what we want.