Ironman Coeur D’Alene: The Big Gulpers
Phillip Kriss
June 29, 2014
June 29, 2014
Why?
I planned this race a year and a half ago knowing I was moving into a new age group. It was another opportunity to produce the goods and possibly earn a coveted Kona spot. My last 2 races did not go as well as planned with Lake Tahoe being high in elevation and freezing cold, and St. George being excruciatingly hot. This could be my big day! My fastest ironman time in the past was at CDA on the old course.
The Training
Training proved to be difficult. Heidi and I decided 18 months ago to open a Massage Envy. It was to open in October, but due to a series of delays it opened 2 weeks before the Ironman. So, I missed several key rides and runs due to meetings and a million other things to do.
Special thanks to Heidi, Mark Casey and Eivind Naess for helping me during this long training process. Several other people also showed up consistently and helped make what others would term a miserable experience into something kind of pleasurable in a sick way.
I was not happy with the long slow heart rate volume training plans of the past. For me they did not produce the results I feel I am capable of. This time I planned the training and raised the intensity of the workouts. One of things I implemented was training and coaching with Aaron at Crossfit Basic in Black Diamond. After my first visit there I found myself weak and pathetic, but I feel I made great progress. I wish I had made the decision to raise the intensity sooner, but with intensity comes a price.
I was running the Tacoma City Marathon at a very slow pace and heart rate and at about mile 12 my heart rate shot up. 160….170….180…190….200…210…220 at mile 20….I figured it had to be heart rate monitor failure until I experienced dizziness, nausea, a headache, tunnel vision and had some difficulty running straight. The next week I was walking up the hill and experience the same symptoms but almost fainted. Recollection revealed that has been happening more often over the last few years. That prompted the most interesting trip to the cardiologist.
His opinion was that I should not run for 3 months and then come back for more testing. Maybe I should have told him about the Ironman, but did not seem relevant. I made the decision to do the rest of my training and racing with a low heart rate and to do all I could do to avoid those spikes.
The Big Gulpers. Another difficulty in training was the hostile local crowd. While riding with local comedian Shawn Davis and my other buddies, he had labeled them big Gulpers. The demographic of the big gulper is usually a younger male driving a big truck with a lift kit, oversized tires, multiple lights on the front, a cattle guard and of course aftermarket exhaust. They usually have diesel engines that produce a lot of smoke. It gets worse if there is a 14-year-old girl in the truck the driver is trying to impress. I figured they were out all night drinking and partying and stopped at 7-11 early in the morning to get some mountain dew and some chew. Halfway to their minimum wage job they’ll encounter us in the middle of nowhere with no witnesses and throw their half drank big gulp at us and roost us with as much exhaust as they can muster. Heidi finds that most interesting since when she was a Boston last she was everybody’s hero. In our local neighborhood we are everybody’s nerd.
The most notable episode was me getting yelled at by some dude in a old bet up Nissan. Really? It was 5:30 in the morning, and I was way inside the white line. I lost my cool and invited him to pull over so he could taste my cleat as I jammed it down his big mouth. He declined and I was disappointed. Then I remembered good character Mark was nearby and I was instantly embarrassed by my inappropriate action. I chose to not say anything and keep up with the ride. Moments later going down the Old Buckley Highway, Mark got roosted by a big gulper. He got it worse than I had seen in a while, enveloped in a large cloud of really black smelly diesel smoke. When I caught up to him he said he had a confession to make…”I had an involuntary response of the middle finger”
Almost There
I had difficulty with my bike before the race. Three of my four racing wheels with tubular tires on them were flat. Finding the tires, the parts, the glue and figuring out how to change these tires was a royal pain. Also at the last minute I found out that my chain and chain ring needed replacing which left me scrambling for parts of the town with 2800 other athletes also looking for parts. The day before the race is very stressful. So much for relaxing. And oops…I forgot to go to the athlete briefing.
I planned this race a year and a half ago knowing I was moving into a new age group. It was another opportunity to produce the goods and possibly earn a coveted Kona spot. My last 2 races did not go as well as planned with Lake Tahoe being high in elevation and freezing cold, and St. George being excruciatingly hot. This could be my big day! My fastest ironman time in the past was at CDA on the old course.
The Training
Training proved to be difficult. Heidi and I decided 18 months ago to open a Massage Envy. It was to open in October, but due to a series of delays it opened 2 weeks before the Ironman. So, I missed several key rides and runs due to meetings and a million other things to do.
Special thanks to Heidi, Mark Casey and Eivind Naess for helping me during this long training process. Several other people also showed up consistently and helped make what others would term a miserable experience into something kind of pleasurable in a sick way.
I was not happy with the long slow heart rate volume training plans of the past. For me they did not produce the results I feel I am capable of. This time I planned the training and raised the intensity of the workouts. One of things I implemented was training and coaching with Aaron at Crossfit Basic in Black Diamond. After my first visit there I found myself weak and pathetic, but I feel I made great progress. I wish I had made the decision to raise the intensity sooner, but with intensity comes a price.
I was running the Tacoma City Marathon at a very slow pace and heart rate and at about mile 12 my heart rate shot up. 160….170….180…190….200…210…220 at mile 20….I figured it had to be heart rate monitor failure until I experienced dizziness, nausea, a headache, tunnel vision and had some difficulty running straight. The next week I was walking up the hill and experience the same symptoms but almost fainted. Recollection revealed that has been happening more often over the last few years. That prompted the most interesting trip to the cardiologist.
His opinion was that I should not run for 3 months and then come back for more testing. Maybe I should have told him about the Ironman, but did not seem relevant. I made the decision to do the rest of my training and racing with a low heart rate and to do all I could do to avoid those spikes.
The Big Gulpers. Another difficulty in training was the hostile local crowd. While riding with local comedian Shawn Davis and my other buddies, he had labeled them big Gulpers. The demographic of the big gulper is usually a younger male driving a big truck with a lift kit, oversized tires, multiple lights on the front, a cattle guard and of course aftermarket exhaust. They usually have diesel engines that produce a lot of smoke. It gets worse if there is a 14-year-old girl in the truck the driver is trying to impress. I figured they were out all night drinking and partying and stopped at 7-11 early in the morning to get some mountain dew and some chew. Halfway to their minimum wage job they’ll encounter us in the middle of nowhere with no witnesses and throw their half drank big gulp at us and roost us with as much exhaust as they can muster. Heidi finds that most interesting since when she was a Boston last she was everybody’s hero. In our local neighborhood we are everybody’s nerd.
The most notable episode was me getting yelled at by some dude in a old bet up Nissan. Really? It was 5:30 in the morning, and I was way inside the white line. I lost my cool and invited him to pull over so he could taste my cleat as I jammed it down his big mouth. He declined and I was disappointed. Then I remembered good character Mark was nearby and I was instantly embarrassed by my inappropriate action. I chose to not say anything and keep up with the ride. Moments later going down the Old Buckley Highway, Mark got roosted by a big gulper. He got it worse than I had seen in a while, enveloped in a large cloud of really black smelly diesel smoke. When I caught up to him he said he had a confession to make…”I had an involuntary response of the middle finger”
Almost There
I had difficulty with my bike before the race. Three of my four racing wheels with tubular tires on them were flat. Finding the tires, the parts, the glue and figuring out how to change these tires was a royal pain. Also at the last minute I found out that my chain and chain ring needed replacing which left me scrambling for parts of the town with 2800 other athletes also looking for parts. The day before the race is very stressful. So much for relaxing. And oops…I forgot to go to the athlete briefing.
The Swim
I slept well the night before the race but periodically woke up because the wind was blowing. We got down to the beach to see very choppy water. I got in and swam my swim in 1:24. I went into the water with the 1:15 group and I thought I was passing people all day. Most people had about 10 min. lower-than-expected swim time because of conditions. I was happy enough with my swim considering most people were complaining about it through all of the ride.
I slept well the night before the race but periodically woke up because the wind was blowing. We got down to the beach to see very choppy water. I got in and swam my swim in 1:24. I went into the water with the 1:15 group and I thought I was passing people all day. Most people had about 10 min. lower-than-expected swim time because of conditions. I was happy enough with my swim considering most people were complaining about it through all of the ride.
The Bike
“The Old Relic”
The ride out of town was very windy. My bike was getting tossed around like a rag doll. I had the opportunity to ride with a 22-year-old kid who had said that the old relic should retire. I asked him if he is making reference to me or to my bicycle. He said it was my P4. After thinking about that for a few moments I realized that he was right and made the decision that when I get home I’m going to hang up my bicycle and put my medals on it and go out and buy a new bike. I had several mechanical difficulties between hitting potholes and having my wheels bend up causing them to rub on my brake shoes. My new chain ring bent early in the day which led to derailments every time I shifted between chain rings. Very frustrating. I did turn in the sixth fastest ride in my age group with a 6:08. Not what I wanted, although considering the conditions I was happy enough. I discovered that caffeinated shots of Gu would cause my heart rate to spike up about 30 beats lasting for about 10 min. I decided to not take any more of that for the rest of the day.
“The Old Relic”
The ride out of town was very windy. My bike was getting tossed around like a rag doll. I had the opportunity to ride with a 22-year-old kid who had said that the old relic should retire. I asked him if he is making reference to me or to my bicycle. He said it was my P4. After thinking about that for a few moments I realized that he was right and made the decision that when I get home I’m going to hang up my bicycle and put my medals on it and go out and buy a new bike. I had several mechanical difficulties between hitting potholes and having my wheels bend up causing them to rub on my brake shoes. My new chain ring bent early in the day which led to derailments every time I shifted between chain rings. Very frustrating. I did turn in the sixth fastest ride in my age group with a 6:08. Not what I wanted, although considering the conditions I was happy enough. I discovered that caffeinated shots of Gu would cause my heart rate to spike up about 30 beats lasting for about 10 min. I decided to not take any more of that for the rest of the day.
The Run
I got on my run and started to stay in the heart rate zone without incident. At first I was running 9 minute miles and I was very happy with that. Then I was running 9:15 miles and maybe happy with that. Then running 9:30 not happy with that. Then I was running 10 minute miles and I was not so happy with that at all. Then I was running/walking/shuffling 13 min. miles, and I was really unhappy. At mile 20 my leg started to cramp up so bad both of them felt like Forrest Gump in his braces. I could not bend any of my joints. If I walked, I was almost comfortable, but running was excruciating. I ate and drank everything that I could to get my cramps to alleviate but nothing was working. Coke and red bull caused my heart to feel like it was going to jump out of my chest. Not a good choice to drink that stuff so I shuffled to the end. Runtime 4:55. I was happy with that because it was under five hours, but it was not the 4:30 or less I hoping to run.
I got on my run and started to stay in the heart rate zone without incident. At first I was running 9 minute miles and I was very happy with that. Then I was running 9:15 miles and maybe happy with that. Then running 9:30 not happy with that. Then I was running 10 minute miles and I was not so happy with that at all. Then I was running/walking/shuffling 13 min. miles, and I was really unhappy. At mile 20 my leg started to cramp up so bad both of them felt like Forrest Gump in his braces. I could not bend any of my joints. If I walked, I was almost comfortable, but running was excruciating. I ate and drank everything that I could to get my cramps to alleviate but nothing was working. Coke and red bull caused my heart to feel like it was going to jump out of my chest. Not a good choice to drink that stuff so I shuffled to the end. Runtime 4:55. I was happy with that because it was under five hours, but it was not the 4:30 or less I hoping to run.
I was very happy to see Heidi and my family and friends on the sidelines during the race cheering me on. Tiffany captured one picture of me kissing Heidi on the race course which made the whole even worth it. She captured the moment in time never to be repeated again.
I love giving out high-fives when I run, and I was able to give out thousands of them on the run course. Not only did that make my day, but I think it made a lot of kids and others happy.
Ahhh, the finish line. What a welcome sight! I ran up the chute and my catcher was my sister Linda and my brother-in-law Jim! It was slightly after 7 PM and they just went on their shift! What a great way to end the event!
Ahhh, the finish line. What a welcome sight! I ran up the chute and my catcher was my sister Linda and my brother-in-law Jim! It was slightly after 7 PM and they just went on their shift! What a great way to end the event!
What did I learn?
Make the best of any situation you are in, in a light-hearted way.
Don’t be your own worst enemy and wreck your day with a poor attitude.
Choosing the right or wrong attitude can make or break your day.
The ironman run shuffle is about 10x more painful than the marathon shuffle.
Nobody does it alone.
High stress levels produce pressure on the ones you love without self-control and discipline. I need work there.
“2.4 miles swim. 112 mile ride. 26.2 mile run. Brag the rest of your life!”
People can be jerks. There is usually nothing you can do about it and to get upset about it is futile. We can only control ourselves.
“You may quit and nobody cares. But, you will always know.”
A sign on the race course “If your relationship survived your training, you did not train hard enough.” That sucks.
It is worth the time, effort and energy for the $3 medal and a piece of cold stale pizza.
It ain’t easy, nor cheap.
Never say never………
Make the best of any situation you are in, in a light-hearted way.
Don’t be your own worst enemy and wreck your day with a poor attitude.
Choosing the right or wrong attitude can make or break your day.
The ironman run shuffle is about 10x more painful than the marathon shuffle.
Nobody does it alone.
High stress levels produce pressure on the ones you love without self-control and discipline. I need work there.
“2.4 miles swim. 112 mile ride. 26.2 mile run. Brag the rest of your life!”
People can be jerks. There is usually nothing you can do about it and to get upset about it is futile. We can only control ourselves.
“You may quit and nobody cares. But, you will always know.”
A sign on the race course “If your relationship survived your training, you did not train hard enough.” That sucks.
It is worth the time, effort and energy for the $3 medal and a piece of cold stale pizza.
It ain’t easy, nor cheap.
Never say never………
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